Thursday was a tough day. There’s just no other way to describe it.

It was peppered with unkind comments and actions from my littles – to each other; to others; to me. The constant strain of taking care of 3 preschoolers’ physical needs as I also attempt to guide their little hearts to love Jesus and do right was wearing me down.

So at dinnertime, when the food was criticized and a child only wanted to talk with Daddy & not Mommy … well, I felt like throwing in the towel and calling it quits in the Mommy Department. Because clearly, I wasn’t doing a good job or THEY WOULDN’T BE ACTING LIKE THIS, RIGHT? RIGHT?!?!

I hung on for the next few hours until their bedtime came, at which point I flopped on my bed in exhaustion.

Have you ever been there? Have you been to a place where you feel like a total failure, but don’t have anything else to give?
Because that’s exactly how I felt.

When I woke up Friday morning, I had one dominating thought:

I need God’s help.

I felt absolutely desperate as I prayed and studied the Word. Over the past few months, I’ve found myself running to James 1:5. This morning was no different, but my intensity level had shot up. I cried the verse out to God, reminding Him of His promise to give wisdom liberally to anyone who asked in faith. I told Him I believed as much as I knew how and needed Him to help my unbelief.

My kids woke up. We went through our day. And I don’t have any glory stories to tell you about my parenting. It wasn’t as if the entire day was full of spiritual fruit – either from me or my children.

But you know what did happen? I failed. I’m not saying that I failed because my kids misbehaved. No, I think we all realize that children have wills of their own and the parent’s responsibility is not to make sure their child never does wrong {absolutely impossible}, but to guide and correct them when they do.
But I felt like a failure. And you know what that did?
It made me desperate for God.

Desperate for His wisdom as I navigate the parenting waters of today…let’s not even think about tomorrow, much less ten years from now.
Desperate for His strength to be consistent in my responses.
Desperate for His grace as I respond to words, actions, and attitudes that may hurt – remembering that my reactions are teaching them more than my words ever will.

You know when failure is a good thing? When it makes you desperate for God.

“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”
– Spurgeon

Today: when you fail…and when you’re reminded of past failures – let it drive you to Christ.
Let the waves cast you upon the steady and ever present Rock of Ages.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1