“I’ve Always Been Angry. That’s Just the Way I Am.”
written by Angela Jeffcott

You hear a crash from somewhere in the house followed by a suspicious silence. You race toward the sound and find a vase you rarely use smashed on the floor. Your guilty looking children are crouched nearby with a ball. Despite the regretful faces looking up at you, you lash out in anger, yelling that they shouldn’t be throwing balls, you don’t have time to clean up another mess, the vase will have to be thrown away, and on it goes. When you look back on that moment, you may feel regret for your harsh tone and angry words, but a lie easily creeps in to make you feel justified in your response:

“That’s just the way I am.”

Maybe after reading that you feel like gloating because you would never lose your temper like that. But perhaps you struggle with gossip, sarcasm, pride, or dishonesty. In this sin-cursed world, we all have struggles that we try to pass off as part of our personality—something that can’t be changed because it’s who we are. My friend, sin is sin and God doesn’t excuse some of it because we choose to believe the lie that it can’t be changed.

Sin Doesn’t Come in Degrees

When I was a child, I memorized James 2:10. To this day I can quote it but I didn’t completely understand the implications of that verse until years after I first recited it. “For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all.” James starts this chapter by reminding his audience that God’s grace extends to all. Poor or rich, we are all in need of the same thing. When he talks about the law, he isn’t equating following the law with salvation. He is reminding his audience that any sin is a sin. When we lie, it’s just as much a sin as stealing. But so often we seem to forget that. We even have phrases like, “little white lie” to make it seem less harmful. But any sin is going against the nature of God and we need to treat it as such.

My Sin is Not My Child’s Fault

I’ve experienced how easy it is to blame my bad attitude my children’s wrong behavior. If they would listen better, if they would obey quickly, if they would be quiet…then I wouldn’t lose my temper, yell, etc. 

But consider this. When I acknowledge there is something in my life that I know is not pleasing to God but I choose to pass the blame instead of admitting it is a sin, I am showing disbelief that God can make all things new. This flies in the face of Romans 12:1-2: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Paul urges the believers in Rome, and us, to give ourselves to God. This is worship! He goes on to admonish that we not be like the world around us but allow God to transform us so we can know what is good and acceptable to Him. But how can our minds be transformed? By dwelling on His truth about Himself and us.

We are Naturally Sinful

We are all born sinful (Rom. 3:23) but we can turn from our sin and ask Jesus to be our Savior (Acts 16:31). We then have the Holy Spirit living in us and convicting us of sin. Will we be perfect? No, but we will have help in recognizing and turning from our sin. This process of sanctification will not end this side of heaven, but we aren’t walking it alone.

We Need God’s Word

When we are tempted to respond in sin to whatever the circumstance may be, it’s important to know what to put in its place. When Jesus was tempted, we see Him quoting the Bible (Luke 4:1-13). It is so needful for us to have Scripture filling our hearts and minds so when we are faced with a choice of how to respond, we offer up God’s Word. Think back to my opening scenario. When you entered the room to find your guilty children by a broken vase, what if you immediately thought of the verse, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19) Or from a few chapters over, “From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” (James 3:10)

We could spend the day peeling apart the bounty of the fruit of the Spirit to dwell on and apply to our lives! (Gal. 5:22-23) We will continue to bypass our sins and remain unchanged if we don’t have God’s Word filling us and working out in our lives.

Dear moms, until we recognize the sin in our lives and call it as such, we will be living out a lie in front of our children. The battle is great but we are not alone! God is not only with us but He is unchanging. We can rest in His Word and know with confidence He will guide us. Fill yourself with God’s truth from His Word, repent when you notice sin, and don’t fall prey to the thought God could never change you.

This post is part of the Lies Moms Believe series.
To read all the posts in this series, click here!

Angela Jeffcott is a pastor’s wife serving alongside her husband in northern Utah. She makes time to write between homeschooling her children, reading books, and googling craft ideas. She blogs Wednesdays on topics from homeschooling to Christian life to Bible study at her blog.

Facebook || Instagram

This post is part of the Lies Moms Believe series.
To read all the posts in this series, click here!