Parenting is full of questions and decisions. Your kids ask questions, you ask yourself questions, and sometimes situations present themselves where nobody is asking for answers (such as when two children are fighting), but they need intervention in the form of a wise parent.

But what do you do when you don’t know the answers?

Today’s post is incredibly simple but has proved very helpful to me recently.

When I face a question (from my kids, myself, or anyone else, for that matter) and the answer is not immediately clear, I always ask 2 questions:

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1. What does the Bible say about this?

When I’m totally stumped and confused (hello, every day), I want my very first response to be turning to God’s Word. This is more easily done if I am in a regular pattern of reading and studying the Bible because the Word comes readily to my mind. I often find myself at a loss for how to respond when my kids are having a disagreement (and usually the first thing in my mind is neither loving nor helpful). But here’s something I’ve learned:

It’s okay to have your kids (& others) wait for answers.

In fact, it’s better for me to ask my kids to sit quietly and have us pray together for wisdom before I spout off commands of what to do or not do, depending on the situation. There have been many times when I’ve spouted off the first thing that comes to mind only because I wanted to be DONE with the conversation already! As much as I hate it, I readily admit that those conversations have been more focused on my agenda than on actually helping my children towards Christlikeness.

By taking time to think and ask my children, “What does the Bible say about this?,” I’m teaching them this foundational principle:
The most important thing is not what mom thinks or what you feel.
The most important thing is what God says in His Word.

The most important thing is not what I think,
but what God said.

2. What did Jesus do?

After thinking through Bible passages, it’s incredibly helpful to ask how Jesus fleshed out the commands of Scripture. For example, my kids and I recently meditated on Proverbs 12:16: “The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.” We all know what it’s like to see someone immediately show their annoyance over someone else’s actions. But ignoring an insult? Yikes. That’s incredibly rare.

But then we talked about Jesus. What did Jesus do when people insulted him? When they said he was possessed, called him a liar, beat him, and brought him to be crucified?

“He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.”
Isaiah 53:7

Now that gives a fuller, more meaningful picture to the verse in Proverbs, doesn’t it?

As I take time to think God’s thoughts instead of my own, He promises to teach me and change me to be more like Jesus. What an encouraging and empowering truth! Parents, when you don’t know the answers, turn to the only One who does and look to His Word for guidance. He promises to give it.

If any of you lacks wisdom,
let him ask God,
who gives generously to all without reproach,
and it will be given him.
James 1:5

 

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