“Comparison is the death of joy,” according to Mark Twain.
And the Bible clearly states that the person who spends time comparing himself with those around him is like a fool without understanding (2 Corinthians 10:12). But if someone could crack open our thoughts, they might just assume comparison was one of our favorite hobbies by the amount of time we spend measuring ourselves with those around us.
After you compare yourself with those around you, where does that leave your heart?
Whether you come out looking better than others or not, this habit leaves our hearts more discontent and restless than before.
And yet even that fact doesn’t dissuade us from continuing to compare in the future.
Why do we compare ourselves with others? And what’s wrong with doing it anyway?
Why do I compare myself with other people?
Simply put, I compare myself with others because I want to see how I measure up. Whether I compare myself with someone I feel is more talented or qualified, or someone I believe is not as gifted, I constantly compare others to the same standard: myself. When I enroll in the comparison game, I commit to thinking about myself non-stop. She has a better personality than I do; hers could use more work to be as good as mine. I want to be the best. But to be totally honest, it’s actually not enough that I think I’m the best, because I want other people to believe I’m the best too. Comparison is all about me. It all boils down to that little (but actually big) thing inside my heart called pride.
What’s the problem with comparing?
Here are two mindsets we often succumb to in our comparison trap:
I’m too good for you.
When I constantly think about myself and whether other people measure up to me, I can’t think about loving God and others. When I’m consumed with being the best, I will not serve the people God has placed around me. I may sign up for service opportunities in the church, but I’ll resist those that force me to actually give of myself in a way that offers zero returns. Why? Because true service demands that I deny myself. And I can’t deny myself if I’m consumed with comparing myself with others and coming out on top.
In fact, the Bible speaks directly to this mindset when it says, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3). I cannot compare myself with others and serve them at the same time. (tweet this) It is only when I view the people around me as better than me that I can serve them the way Jesus serves me.
I’m not good enough for you.
In addition, I’ll shy away from serving in an area where I feel others are more gifted than I am. It’s true that just because there’s a need and you see it doesn’t mean you’re the one to meet it. But it’s also true that we often allow our insecurities to keep us from obeying specific commands God has for us.
I don’t have the same gifts you do. Or maybe we’re getting hung up on the word “gifts,” so let me put it this way: I don’t have the same strengths and weaknesses as you. If someone put both of us side by side and measured our giftings, there would be some areas where you would be stronger than me and vice versa. Newsflash: this is on purpose. And it’s God’s purpose, not mine or yours.
God has gifted each believer with a specific personality and set of talents and there are no oversights involved. God did not put you in your sphere of influence or give you specific desires for ministry by accident. Need proof? Let’s talk about a real life example. I call to witness Moses (Exodus 3-4).
Goodness, I love this back and forth between God and Moses. I cringe every time I read it because Moses is so stubborn and full of himself. But God is insistent and persistent with his plan, despite Moses’s arguments to the contrary. Let’s dive into the middle of their paraphrased conversation:
God says, “Come, I will send you”
Moses: “Who am I that I should go?”
God: “But I will be with you.”
Moses: “What shall I say to them?”
God: “I AM has sent me .”
Moses: “They will not believe me.”
God: “What is that in your hand?”
[time-out while God performs miracles to show Moses his power]
Moses: “I am slow of speech and of tongue.”
God: “Who has made man’s mouth? Go, and I will be with your mouth.”
Moses: “Please send someone else.”
This conversation never fails to astound me. So many questions and excuses! Moses, this is God speaking and giving you all these awesome miracles to perform! Get out there and obey!
But don’t we have the same response? God gives us a command or a burden and we come back with questions, excuses, and a list of people who can sing, write, speak, or serve better than we can. If we could quiet our hearts and still our minds long enough, we would realize that there–right in front of us, no, even inside us as believers—is the I AM. (tweet this) The God who promises to be with us in our weakness and strengthen us to do whatever it is he has called us to do.
Looking to others in an effort to compare is the fruit of pride
and it will always result in stifled service for God and others.But looking to Christ is the fruit of a redeemed soul
and the outcome is always more loving service
for the one who has saved me from my sin.
Instead of comparing ourselves to those around us, may we look to our faithful God.
