“I’ll never be a good enough Mom.”

Maybe you start believing this lie after you see another mom doing something that seems impossible for you. Or maybe it creeps into your thoughts after you lose your temper with your kids. However and whenever it comes, this lie can be debilitating and depressing.

As Christians, how do we process this lie? What do we do when we feel like we’ll never be a good enough Mom for our kids?

 

What do you do when you feel like you’re not good enough?

 

1. Realize that it’s true.

Let’s start by defining the terms.
What do you mean by “good enough?”

If you mean perfect, then you’re exactly right: You’ll never be perfect and neither will I. We’ll never respond to our children with perfect patience and self-control. We’ll never have a marriage untainted by arguments. We’ll never have all the talents our friends have or be without relationship problems. We will never be perfect on earth because we are sinners. Even our good deeds are dirty in the sight of our perfect God.

But if you feel like you’ll never be good enough, don’t despair. Coming to that conclusion is actually the prerequisite to hope in your parenting.

 

2. Rest in Christ’s perfection.

What does Christ’s perfection have to do with me feeling like I’m not a good enough Mom?
Absolutely everything.

It is only when I see my sin as it truly is
(Everything I do is stained by it! I’ll never be good enough!)
that I realize my desperate need for deliverance.
(I need help from someone who is perfect.)

Jesus Christ is the only perfect person and he offers deliverance from my “not good enough” life. (tweet this)
How does he do that? He took all the sins of the world on him and paid the penalty for them when he died on the cross 2,000+ years ago. He breaks the chain of sin for all who believe in him.

So for every Mom who believes in Jesus Christ, there is freedom from the suffocating feeling of, “I’m not good enough.” Why? Because she knows that’s exactly true. I am not good enough, but Jesus is.

Sufficiency comes only through Christ. You are not “good enough” in yourself. But through Christ’s power and strength, he can make you sufficient to fulfill every good work he has planned for your life.

“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God.
Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us,
but our sufficiency is from God
(2 Corinthians 3:4-6).

 

3. Surrender to his work in your heart.

As a believer in Jesus, I am not alone in my parenting journey. Jesus Christ has the power to work in and through me, changing my thoughts, words, and actions to be more like his. But I am not always a willing participant in this change. I can either resist or surrender his work.

Here are three ways to actively surrender to God’s work in your heart:

• • Ask God to change you.
    • • I love to pray Psalm 19:14: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”
  • Thank God for his conviction.
    • • Conviction is a gift from the Holy Spirit! When you feel his work in your heart, make it a habit to run to it instead of running from it. A tender conscience is a priceless gift.
  • Humbly listen to the advice and correction of those around you.
    • • Ouch, this is hard. But God uses people around us to show us areas in which we need change. They may not confront you graciously. They might even use unkind words. But God can use imperfect people and thoughtless words to bring us closer to him. Ask God to make you a wise person who listens to correction. “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15).

 

You are not good enough, but Jesus is.

When you come face to face with your weakness and sinfulness, use that moment as a reminder that only in Christ are you strong. You will never be perfect. But God did not make a mistake when he chose you as the mom for your kids. Rest in his strength and surrender to his leading as he changes you to be like him.

 

This post is part of the Lies Moms Believe series.
To read all the posts in this series, click here.

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