I hope you’ve been enjoying this series and have found at least 1 thing that’s been helpful! Today is a post for everyone, whether male, female, young, or old: How to Talk to a Pregnant Woman.
I write this post with the very best intentions that it would be a help. A help for pregnant women as they learn to navigate such comments and a help for each one of us as we consider the impact our words have on each other.
With that in mind, here are just 2 topics I recommend steering clear from as you interact with pregnant women around you:
- “Glory Stories”
And when I say “glory,” I really mean the opposite. Stories that have horrible endings are generally not appreciated. Any story that warns of horrible labors, misplaced epidurals, new moms who never have 5 minutes to shower {for 6 months}, and other such folklore is not desirable. Everybody loves a happy ending. So stick with those kinda stories – or better yet, leave the storytelling to Gramma.
- Mom’s Body
Time for a medical lesson: When a woman becomes pregnant, a little life begins growing inside her body. Over the course of 9 months, this life grows and grows until it reaches “full-term” status. In the course of this growing, Mom’s body grows too. End of lesson.
My point: Mom knows her belly is getting big. There’s no need to tell her. Ever. Ever. Ever. Times a million.
In fact, if you want to stay on the safe side, a good rule of thumb is to never mention anything about a woman’s size – whether pregnant or not. But especially when pregnant, women are extremely conscious of their expanding waistline {and everything else}. Making comments such as what they should/shouldn’t eat, how many pounds they must have gained, whether this will be a large baby or not, etc. are not helpful {at best} and can be very hurtful.
- How to Respond
Oh bless you, dear pregnant momma, as you navigate the waters of responding to hurtful comments. I really do understand. I seem to get a large number of ridiculous comments throughout each pregnancy, but have definitely received quite a few during this last one. {Let me just give a quick shout-out to my husband who is a constant encouragement & an empathetic listener as I share the crazy comments I receive!} First of all, you must determine to think truth. Many times when people say things that are hurtful, they are merely trying to be funny or to express interest in their own unique way. However, attempting to think the best about their intentions does not always help me hours after the comments have been shared. Think truth: You have a baby in your belly and are supposed to grow. That’s how God made it to work. So maybe you’ve gained some extra weight during this pregnancy? It’s okay. There is time to lose weight after baby has safely arrived. Don’t stress.
Be confident in who God has made you to be and what He has designed your body to do. It truly is a miracle!
For those of you who are not pregnant: please take these thoughts into careful consideration. Most importantly, just think about what you say before you say it {whenever you speak – not just when speaking to a pregnant person!} and pray that God would use your words to minister grace to those who hear them!
Don’t miss a post from this series!
Comments
10 responses to “How to Talk to a Pregnant Woman {Pregnancy Series}”
so sorry that this pregnancy has been harder for you in this way. I have sensed it many ways – just in little things you said and didn’t say and pictures you didn’t post. and you also had more pain/therefore couldn’t exercise/run as much this time either – people need to understand that. I usually just keep my mouth shut around pregnant ladies – have no advice to give and don’t know what they are going through. But I always think they are gorgeous with their baby bump! 🙂
But it is almost OVER! You may be even delivering that little one right now! 😉
praying for a safe delivery – can’t wait to hear if it is a boy or girl!! 🙂
Yes, ma’am! I never minded questions like, “When are you due?” (except for when I had to start answering “last Tuesday”–yikes!) or “Is this your first?” But if the questions got much more personal than that (like my mail lady asking how much I was dilated?!?!) I got really upset inside. And when I’m talking to other expectant mamas, I always try to include a congratulations and something like, “You’re going to be a great mom” or “Babies are amazing!” or something else encouraging. Who knows–maybe they haven’t heard that from anyone else 🙂
So, Christa, you are a great mom and babies are amazing! hee hee 🙂 Happy Due Season and I hope you get to meet your little one sooner rather than later! These days after the official due date can be the hardest and longest, I know 🙂
Ahhhh…well you know the great thing, though? Once the baby is here, any hardships of the pregnancy begin to become “dim.” Not that they weren’t difficult, but the joy of holding a precious gift kinda outweighs all those tough things during the previous 9+ months. Makes me wonder what it will be like when I see Jesus in heaven…
thanks so much, Diana, for the encouraging words! 🙂
I am sorry you got so many rude comments during your most recent pregnancy. Unfortunately people can say the most discouraging things no matter what. I started off my last pregnancy very small and even then people would say they couldn’t believe I was actually expecting. And then I got really big because baby just needed lots more room and people would just look like wow. It was kind of funny. Anyway the few photos I saw of you pregnant I always thought you looked good. Thanks for the great article.
I heard so many bad stories when I was pregnant. The one I really didn’t get was no shower. Even with many kids – you can find five minutes to take a shower. May be different for different moms – but I was a married woman with no children – why are you warning me I’ll never get a shower? Hand baby to dad, go take shower. Or, put baby down for bed, go shower.
Blessings,
Nicole @ WKH
Hey Christa, I read your article with a little sense of concern that I may have said something that was hurtful. I hope I didn’t, but if in my “excitement” for you I said something stupid or thoughtless, please forgive me. I’ve been through it myself, but sometimes forget to bridle my tongue. I’m so happy for you all and have ALWAYS thought you looked wonderful! Love, Ruth
Boo. I was hoping nobody would read this and feel like that! Thanks for being sensitive, but I don’t have any recollections of anything stupid or thoughtless you have said! You are an awesome cheerleader to me, Ruth!!!
haha! I think sometimes it’s easy to forget what it’s like to hear those comments all the time. I know I’ve said some incredibly thoughtless things to people without even realizing it and then later on, I’ll remember what I said and be totally embarrassed, go apologize, etc. It’s a good reminder for me to use grace in my speech!
You know what, though? Seeing baby and holding him makes everything so worth it! Kinda makes all the hard times become a distant memory. 🙂