“How are you doing?”

It’s a question I’ve gotten a lot over the last few weeks of moving, unpacking, and transition. Not being one for fake answers, I’ve taken to replying with something along the lines of, “I’m doing well, I think.” This answer leaves some people befuddled, I’m sure, and perhaps wishing they hadn’t asked in the first place. But it’s the best I can do at this point.

The thing is, moving and resettling to a new part of the country brings a lot of change.
Your spouse starting a new job brings change.
Enrolling your children in traditional school brings change. (For more on that, see this and this.)
Waking up to 30 degree days in October brings change. (And let’s be honest…some fear about the coming winter.)
And with change comes struggle. (Here’s something to remember: struggling doesn’t mean it’s a bad change. It just means you’re human.)

Sometimes, I get a little too caught up with trying to answer the “How are you doing?” question and become concerned because my answer isn’t an all-out reply of “GREAT!” (said in an excited, through-the-roof, permanent smile tone of voice). You see, introspection can be incredibly helpful. But there are times when you need to stop looking internally to figure out how you are doing and instead place more emphasis on what you are doing.

What are you doing?

If you are in a period of struggle, and you’re not quite sure how you’re doing (or maybe you know how you’re doing and the answer is not well at all), here are 4 habits to cultivate during this time of change: 

Recognize the spiritual battle taking place in your heart.

The devil would love it if this struggle you’re experiencing makes you angry, discontent, fearful, and unable to follow through with God’s plan for your life. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places (Eph. 6:12). Your struggles are not only physical but spiritual. Take, for example, the change of weather I’m experiencing. The main aspect of this change is physical. (AKA it’s cold.) But wouldn’t the devil love it if I allowed this change to make me complain and respond in frustration that God moved us here instead of someplace warmer? Indeed he would. So I recognize the very real physical struggle and ask God for help to respond in a way that pleases him. I’m even asking him to help me give thanks for the snow—something that seems nothing short of miraculous to me. (And I’m also spending time shopping for winter gear. Because I’m gathering that the winter coats we have used up to this point are hilariously ill-suited for New England winters.)

Listen to the One who has the best advice.

Times of change tend to be busy. But there is nothing so vital to your spiritual state of mind as spending regular time in God’s Word. Read it, listen to it, pray it, talk about it with your kids or anyone else around you. But don’t replace it. Your heart needs to listen to the unchanging truth of the Bible during this time of change.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God (Col. 3:16).

Reach out to the people God has placed around you.

We’re not supposed to live life on our own. So we can all stop pretending to be superheroes (there’s only One anyway, and he promises to give us help!). Connect with a local body of believers and ask people to pray for you. Ask them how you can pray for them. Pray together. Invite someone to your home for prayer. Yes, you may come across as desperate and that will make you feel vulnerable. But living in community doesn’t look like me being flocked by people who are just dying to befriend me. It’s more like me extending an awkward invitation and feeling completely exposed as I wait for them to decline or accept (ask me how I know). Reaching out looks like denying myself. But it’s only when we deny ourselves and sacrifice our craving to appear perfect that Christ can come in and bring real life and holiness to our hearts.

Talk to the One who already knows.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God (Phil. 4:6). God has been impressing this verse on my heart for the past 6 weeks ever since my husband preached on it. My Father already knows how I’m doing, so there’s no risk of him misunderstanding my words. He already knows the ugly truth, so there’s nothing to hide. And what’s more? He promises his perfect peace when I throw my worries onto his capable shoulders instead of trying to muscle through them on my own: And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7).

So how are you doing?
However you are feeling today, I trust that these four habits will become a regular part of your life as you seek to navigate changes in your life to the glory of God.