Four years ago I wrote a post entitled Enjoy These Years. In that post, I recount an incident when an older friend of mine encouraged me (amidst a very chaotic lunch date) to enjoy the little years with my children.

Ever since that post, a question has been burning in my mind: What do I do when I don’t enjoy these years?

Because let’s admit it, Moms: there are a lot of moments that are not enjoyable. 
I know, I know, older mamas. I know what some of you are thinking because I’ve heard many versions of it from both strangers and close friends. “It goes so fast.” “Enjoy them while they’re young.” “Soon they’ll be out of the house and you’ll wish them back.” And my personal favorite: “It only gets worse!”

There are many days when I absolutely love parenting my children. Several weeks ago, I was grocery shopping with my little brood when an older couple approached me.
“Are these all your children?” he asked.
“You bet!” I replied.
He smirked at his wife, then said, “My wife told me they couldn’t belong to you because you’re still smiling.”

See, some days are like that. When I astound myself (and apparently others) with the fact that I actually enjoy parenting my littles.

And then there are the other days.

Like two weeks ago, when I worked for hours to go through my kids’ clothes for the next season amidst many discipleship opportunities with said children. Ten minutes before naptime, I put a fresh outfit on my soiled youngest, after which she toddled outside and plopped down in a muddy puddle. Needless to say, there was not a delighted smile on my face.

On one hand, I agree with the older mamas—I look back to when my 8-year-old was a newborn and wonder how in the world she’s grown to be such a helpful big girl. But sometimes the difficult moments seem to drag on forever. Instead of being grateful for the incredible privilege I have to parent these 4 little souls, I can often feel resentful that they drain my time and energy.

 

What do you do when you don’t enjoy the little years?

What do you do when you hate the life you’ve been given?
Here are three steps the Lord uses to help me:

 

Repent.

I’m typically pretty terrible at repenting during these moments. Because by the time I’m hating my life, I’ve reached a really high level of stubbornness. And stubborn people don’t usually admit they’re wrong. But God is so good and the Holy Spirit is incredibly faithful to soften my hardened heart.

When I find myself resenting my children and the way they affect my workload, schedule, and opportunities, the very first thing I must do is take my anger and discontentment to the Lord in the spirit of repentance. Often I go to him not feeling repentant, but knowing I’m in desperate trouble. When I bring my anger to God, he is so good to faithfully and lovingly lead my stubborn heart to a state of true repentance and joy. (1 John 1:9)

 

Rest & Refuel.

Not every problem is a spiritual one.
Sometimes I find myself at a loss to enjoy my children because I’m too physically tired and emotionally drained to feel anything except despair. I know some of you are reading this thinking, “Rest? WHEN?!” If you are in a season of life that is especially demanding with not much rest physically, let me encourage you to be especially cautious with the way you fill your mind and body. A few minutes closing your eyes and resting on the couch is much more healing than a few minutes on social media. A couple extra minutes preparing nourishing food may prove to provide exponential benefits to your mental and physical stamina. During seasons of intense output (read: years parenting little children), be especially mindful of your body’s need for regular rest and nourishing food.

 

Respond in faith.

How does a Mom respond in faith?
She trusts that the Lord will meet her needs even though she doesn’t see how it will happen.
She trusts that the Lord will give her the grace to respond with patience instead of lashing out at her child in anger.
She believes that God will keep his promise to give wisdom to those who ask. (James 1:5) So she stops worrying and instead searches his Word for answers.
She recognizes that God has made her a human with limits, so she takes time to stop, remembering that she’s not called to do everything.
She has faith that the joy of the Lord is her strength and asks him for help to respond with joy instead of frustration. (Nehemiah 8:10)

In short, a Mom responds in faith by trusting God instead of herself. By trusting God’s Word rather than her thoughts, worries, and emotions.

 

Mama, when you find yourself ready to despair during this season of intense motherhood, you are in the perfect position to see God’s incredible strength at work. Remember when God said he’s chosen weak people to do his work? (1 Corinthians 1:27) I for sure fall into that category; how about you? We serve a God whose power shines through in spite of—or more accurately, because of—our weakness.

May God give us grace to enjoy these little years as a gift from his good and faithful hand.

 

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