Last week, I told you that my husband passed the oral defense of his dissertation—the culmination of a major, 4-year-long journey and a huge answer to prayer. The 24 hours that followed his passing held some major struggles for me.
Here’s the story of my breakdown & God’s build-up…
“I passed.”
I entertained approximately 30 minutes of joy and thankfulness. And then it hit:
God had called us to walk through the past years of schooling (with the side effects of a pressured schedule and financial uncertainty), but we’re coming to the end of that season. Maybe normal people would be like, “Yeah! Praise the Lord! We’re finished!”
But I was like,
“Ohhhhh, no. what is God going to have us do next??”
By the following afternoon, my stomach was in knots. When Jonathan asked me how I was doing, I responded (in tears) that I was worried about all the hard things God might ask us to do now that we were coming to the end of this degree.
Of course, I knew in my head that it was ridiculous for me to be worried about the future after we had just seen God kindly lead us over the last years. But my stomach was still in knots.
Later that day, I prayed and asked the Lord to help me trust Him with the hard things He was going to give us. As I prayed, it was as if the Lord asked me, “What hard things?” You’re worried because you’re trying to live in the future.”
The Holy Spirit immediately brought this verse to mind:
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)
Basically, God was all, “Hey, here’s a massive answer to the past 1,460+ days of work, sweat, prayers, and tears.”
And I was all, “Yeah? But what about tomorrow??”
Bottom line?
I let worry steal my joy.
When I should have been basking in God’s incredible kindness to lead my family through uncertainty, instead I was sending myself into panic mode as I imagined all the hard things that could take place. When I should have trusted in the promises of God seen in the Bible and evidenced in my life, I chose to live in a place of worry, believing my fears instead of God’s Word.
I’ve felt really sympathetic to the Israelites this week. You remember how God led them away from Pharoah after years of captivity and then they freak out when they realize they don’t have food and water? Sometimes I hear people say they can’t imagine how the Israelites could doubt God after seeing the Red Sea split wide open. But I feel like the Israelites and I are on the exact same page. Their heart is just like mine: prone to unbelief and worry.
I prayed again. “God, I am sick with worry. I know you’ll walk with us in the future just like you’ve walked with us in the past. Help me to live in what you’ve given me today and trust you each step of the way.”
And then I asked God to help me be joyful in Him and give thanks for all He’s done.
It’s a classic example of always reaching for the next big thing, isn’t it? I struggle to live right where God has me, in the very moments of today. I often find myself rejecting the gifts and grace God has given for today in favor of worry or excitement over tomorrow.
So here I am again. Realizing the error of my way and running back to the forgiving, capable arms of my Father.
Is there something you’re worried about today?
Take it to Jesus.
Don’t let worry steal your joy.
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Comments
13 responses to “When Worry Steals Your Joy”
Thank you Christa! Such a great encouragement to me today. Thank you for sharing your heart in such a transparent way. Much love to your precious family.
Thanks for your constant encouragement, Lorre.
This was such a rebuke, Christa! I’m struggling with trusting God today and being fearful of what might happen in the future and your words were just what I needed! Thanks for sharing your heart and human-ness!
Christa you have no idea how much I have been struggling with worry about what’s going to happen now. This is just what I needed. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. You have helped me many time’s over these year’s.
Brenda 💕
I’m so glad it was an encouragement, Ruth! Thank you for sharing YOUR heart with me!!
And you’ve been such an encouragement to me, Brenda! Thank you!
Wow. First of all, congratulations! Second of all, I totally can relate. God is so kind and merciful to us, isn’t he?! Thanks for your transparency always 🙂
Christa: since the Lord took my husband I have realizes how much I trusted in my husband to give me strength…Now I am on my knees talking to my Savior and trusting in Him threw many trials…my latest is a broken pipe under my concrete floor in my kitchen….the floor is hot because it’s the hot water pipe ,so no damage to the floor I’m told no homeowner policy will cover this since no floors are damage…so I am trusting the Lord thru this and have peace….I’m in the motorhome while plumbers in the house re piping the whole house….thank you for the timely post…..love you
Thanks for your kind encouragement, Laura!
YOU are a blessing to me, Mary Lou. The Lord is teaching you to trust the Lord in a way I have never experienced. Thank you for your encouragement to me.
I, too, am so guilty of this! It amazes me that God still is good even when we doubt. 💛
“Sufficient unto the day…” is the verse I hear most often from my hubby😬. Grateful for God’s patience as I learn time and again to trust Him. “Oh for grace to trust Him more.”
Yes, Naomi! That song has been a prayer of mine as well. Thanks for sharing.