One Life

It is incredible the effect someone can have on you. Especially when that little person hasn’t even been born yet.

2 experiences from this year:
1) I became pregnant with my 2nd baby.
2) I learned what it’s like to go through a miscarriage.

Below is a letter I wrote to my little one. It is a love letter, of sorts.

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Dear Little One,

First, let me tell you that I love you. How is that even possible to love someone you have never seen, touched, or known? But it’s true. I loved you the moment I thought it was possible that you were inside me…and then when I saw those two blue lines…it was love at first sight. quite literally.

Although you only had a short little life inside me, you had such an influence on your daddy & mommy. Thank you for teaching me how much influence one life can have on another. You brought even more joy and love into our family.

I miss you, baby. I miss having you inside me and knowing you are there. I miss the thought of us growing together – you growing and developing inside of me, and my growing because of you.

I wanted to hold you. I still do.

I wanted to see you. And I still do.

But Jesus wanted you to be with Him more than He wanted you to be with me.

He wanted to hold you more than I needed to hold you.

He wanted to see you more than I needed to see you.

I don’t know why.

Sometimes…
I wish you were still in me.
I wish I was still going to see and hold you in September.

But, little one, you are in a perfect place now.
You are surrounded by angels.
You are with your perfect Father.

And, even though I don’t know why you are gone, I do know something.

I know that the same Jesus that holds you is holding me.

I know that the same perfect Father that sees you is the One Who sees my pain and loss.

I know the Jesus who loves you is the same one who loves me and took you away…can I say it?…for my good.

I will see you. And I will hold you.

Maybe not today – or even after 9 months of waiting.

But one day.

One Perfect Day…

Source: miamibeachhigh

I love you,
Mommy