One Life

It is incredible the effect someone can have on you. Especially when that little person hasn’t even been born yet.

2 experiences from this year:
1) I became pregnant with my 2nd baby.
2) I learned what it’s like to go through a miscarriage.

Below is a letter I wrote to my little one. It is a love letter, of sorts.

_____________________________________________________________________

Dear Little One,

First, let me tell you that I love you. How is that even possible to love someone you have never seen, touched, or known? But it’s true. I loved you the moment I thought it was possible that you were inside me…and then when I saw those two blue lines…it was love at first sight. quite literally.

Although you only had a short little life inside me, you had such an influence on your daddy & mommy. Thank you for teaching me how much influence one life can have on another. You brought even more joy and love into our family.

I miss you, baby. I miss having you inside me and knowing you are there. I miss the thought of us growing together – you growing and developing inside of me, and my growing because of you.

I wanted to hold you. I still do.

I wanted to see you. And I still do.

But Jesus wanted you to be with Him more than He wanted you to be with me.

He wanted to hold you more than I needed to hold you.

He wanted to see you more than I needed to see you.

I don’t know why.

Sometimes…
I wish you were still in me.
I wish I was still going to see and hold you in September.

But, little one, you are in a perfect place now.
You are surrounded by angels.
You are with your perfect Father.

And, even though I don’t know why you are gone, I do know something.

I know that the same Jesus that holds you is holding me.

I know that the same perfect Father that sees you is the One Who sees my pain and loss.

I know the Jesus who loves you is the same one who loves me and took you away…can I say it?…for my good.

I will see you. And I will hold you.

Maybe not today – or even after 9 months of waiting.

But one day.

One Perfect Day…

Source: miamibeachhigh

I love you,
Mommy

 


7 comments

  1. Pingback: Things I’m Loving | Brown Sugar Toast
  2. deb flowers says:

    Hey Christa, just came across this and wanted to let you know that it brought tears to my eyes because it resonated so much with me. We lost our 2nd baby last month, and now understand better the sweetness of Heaven! God is good. Thanks for this post!

  3. Johanna says:

    Thank you for that beautiful poem. I miscarried with my third child just last week. I mourn for the child I will not meet on earth, but know that God has a plan for me and am thankful for the children he allowed me to keep on earth.

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