My Marriage Is Not Affair Proof

Google “How to Affair Proof Your Marriage” and you’ll end up with a slew of options, ranging in helpfulness from “Commit to honest, open communication” to “Watch out for that second or third cocktail.”

My husband and I just celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary and while we don’t claim to have marriage figured out, there is one thing of which I’m 100% certain: my marriage is not affair proof. Not only is it not affair proof now, but I’m completely and totally confident that my marriage will never be affair proof. You know why? Because I’m a part of it. And you know what I am? I’m a sinner. Yes, I’m a sinner saved by grace and not bound to obey the passions of my heart. But I’m still a sinner with a deceitful heart.

In fact, I’m going to go ahead and say this: The moment I think my marriage is affair proof is the exact time I’m most susceptible to an affair, whether emotionally or physically. The second I think I can’t mess up coincides with the exact time I consider myself above God’s grace. If I can’t fail, why do I need God’s grace? It’s simple; I don’t.

But I can fail. And I do – every single day. I must constantly be aware of my very desperate need for God’s grace in all my relationships, especially with my husband, the person closest to me. It is a good, necessary quality to be desperate for God’s presence and grace in my marriage. To have the mindset of “I can’t possibly do this on my own” is not self-deprecating, but truth.

Bottom Line: No marriage is (or ever can be) affair proof because every marriage is composed of two sinners.

So what? Leave marriage for the birds?
(I mean, obviously not to the birds because they don’t do the whole marriage thing, but . . . you know what I mean.)

Of course not! God created marriage after all (see Genesis 2); it’s His plan, not man’s idea. If you’re married, do everything you can to build that relationship and love your spouse like Christ loves you. But don’t make an affair proof marriage your ultimate goal. Instead, serve Jesus by serving your spouse. Love Jesus by loving your spouse. Make Jesus your ultimate goal – serving Him, loving Him, and growing in your relationship with Him as you seek to serve, love and grow in your relationship with your spouse.

An affair proof marriage is a good desire. Do everything you can to make your marriage reflect the love that Christ has for His church. But remember that Jesus Christ is the ultimate goal. Seeing and becoming like Him is the ultimate prize.


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