After today’s post, Betsy left this comment:
This is such a great reminder. Right now, in our stage in life, things are so crazy. My husband is in his last semester of college and in a show. He has rehearsals nearly every night. I’m a substitute teacher/tutor. He gets home very late, I’m awake very early. Yesterday I had to stay up to see him, but he had a lot of homework, so we only sat with each other for about 10 minutes and talked.
What can we do in this season of life?
I know there are many of you who have been through (or are currently going through!) a situation like this.
What tips do you have for Betsy?
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Comments
6 responses to “Help!”
I would say: Been there…Was working two jobs and going to school(12 units) when we first got married. My husband was working a 50 hour a week job in the restaurant business. We saw each other when we were in bed in the evening. Give yourselves a break…this won’t last forever, even though it seems like it will. Leave each other notes and text a couple of times a day to let the other person know that you’re thinking about him/her. Think ahead if you know he has a day/ half day off and plan a date.
Plan a big date when the semester is over. Go somewhere by yourselves and spend the night or even a weekend. It will be something to look forward to when the busyness is over. Meanwhile leave love notes for each other in unique places–taped to the bathroom mirror, in his socks drawer, etc. Encourage each other and ask the Lord for grace to see you through.
This too shall pass…. 🙂 But in the meantime…when my hubby and I were super busy (totally different circumstances but similar time constraints – I was even substitute teaching 🙂 I tried to take a nap sometimes when I got home from school so that I would be able to stay awake a little longer with him and still get my rest. The other thing that I would try to do is be with him in whatever he was doing (at that time he was either working in our lab at home, at a dentists’ office lab, or on our “fixer-uper” house). I would sit in his lab and read or go to the office with him and watch a movie on my laptop. Or I’d change clothes and work on the house right alongside him. We wouldn’t necessarily talk or anything (esp if he was working on in one of the labs) but it was nice just to be together. Just some ideas from a young wife that’s still in love with her hubby…. 🙂
My husband and I had a similar situation where our schedules were different for the past few years. What helped us was saying no to anything else taking time away from each other. When we did have time together, we would try & focus and appreciate it. I would try and get all the chores done while he was gone that way I could actually spend tune together when we did have some time. Also, emails & texts really helped us stay connected!
Oh, this is a hard one, honey! We’ve been there with busy weeks, but I recommend writing a pact together and signing it and hanging it on a wall somewhere where you can both take it–“We will take a date night every week, or month, but nothing less that a month!” Honey, this is SO important to your marriage! Get it down, though and it will become like breathing!
What type of show is he in? Maybe you could attend his rehearsals and show your support? Usually they take 15 minute breaks every so often, and maybe you could squeeze a little time together in there.
Take the weekends off together, and hire someone to take the kids. He can’t go to school on the weekends, can he? 🙂
Even if he can’t do something every week this semester, strive for a special time together, without kids, at least once a month. Maybe you could also hire someone to do the stuff that takes up a lot of his “free” time (like mowing a lawn, fixing a sink, excetera) and then use that window of time as a date.
But it sounds like even what you are doing is good–take naps and stay up if you can. These are the types of busy times where marriages fall under attack. Things get shoved under the rug, but date nights are SO important. My husband and I have a very strong marriage as a result of ours, and I cannot emphasize this enough to those a few years behind us in marriage.
Great ideas so far. I would agree with texting and emailing and leaving notes as much as possible. You might not see each other’s faces but you will feel connected still to the day-to-day little tidbits in each other’s lives. Also, when you do get time together, make it just you two or something really nice that you enjoy doing. Hang in there,….it definitely won’t last forever and these will be fun memories to talk about. Good luck. 😉