Tomorrow is my due date.
20 weeks ago, when my water broke, my prayer was that I would make it to 23 weeks of pregnancy – far enough along to be hospitalized and down the hall from a NICU to give my preemie girl as much of a chance at life as possible.
And here I am, 40 weeks pregnant. Farther than I ever thought possible.
If I’ve learned anything through the last 20 weeks, it is the importance of trusting in God. I feel like these last days of pregnancy are an especially pivotal time to practice resting in His will. I’m incredibly curious about when and how this little girl will exit my womb and enter the world as her own unique person. But that’s not for me to know right now. So I can either focus on what I don’t know (all the details surrounding her birth) or focus on what I do know.
What do I know?
I know that God’s grace is sufficient.
For the waiting period now and the labor later – whenever it happens and whatever the outcome.
That’s about where my knowledge stops. I know the character of God will remain unchanged. His love will be present, His strength available, and His grace sustaining. Beyond that, I know nothing. And I don’t have to.
That’s kinda what faith is, right?
Resting when you can’t feel.
Believing when you can’t see.
Trusting though you don’t know.
And now for some random, due date-esque thoughts…
// I started reading this book again last week because I could tell I was getting incredibly self-focused, anxious, and irritable. I thought it would be a good reminder to trust in the Lord and rejoice in the present. It has been.
// I’m aggressively trying to empty my laundry basket and dishwasher. It’s a constant job. But I hate the thought of coming home to nastiness in either the laundry closet or the kitchen. I should really attempt to live like this all the time because it makes for a nicer home.
// I bought comfy clothes for the post-partum stage. Sweatpants, cotton, elastic, perfection. I’m super happy they arrived before labor began.
// We are in our 9th week of school. I can hardly believe it! But I am so incredibly glad we began in July (even though it was slightly painful at the time) so that I won’t have the pressure of jumping back into school the day (or week) after I get home from the hospital.
// In honor of my due date tomorrow, I’m going to take my kids out for breakfast. I wanted to have something to look forward to in case baby didn’t make her appearance, so I thought this would fit the bill. Pretty excited about the occasion, I gotta admit.
// We finally decided on a name for this new family member, although we’ll wait until after baby girl is born to be 100% sure. We are going to wait to announce her name until we’re able to tell our 3 older kiddos in person. They are super curious and we definitely want them to be the first to know. Since we’ve had a hard time with the name (okay, I’m the one who’s kept tossing in different ideas; Jonathan’s been pretty sure for a while now), I just want to wait until after she’s born to be totally, completely, 100% sure. You know, rather than calling her Millicent for several months and then switching it up on everyone after she’s born. So there’s one name you can be sure we aren’t naming her. Or maybe we are and I’m just being sneaky. One never knows…
// I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your prayers. So many people have told me they’re praying for me and baby – from the time my water broke prematurely to now while I’m prepping for labor. I need your prayers and am humbled to hear of them. So thank you for being the kindest support system ever.
I’m looking forward to sharing some newborn pictures with you sooooon!